(Do you know anyone who needs help, advice, inspiration, and hope after being laid off? Please send them to my new blog, Rebound Your Career! It's based on my new book entitled, amazingly enough: Rebound: A Proven Plan For Starting Over After Job Loss, which is out now! Yay!)

Losing your job is terrible. But what are you doing to make it worse? Negative thinking? Assuming the job market is so hostile that there's no point in keeping your standards up? Spending weeks in your jammies? Cutting back on even the smallest pleasures in life? Less patient than you'd like to be with the kids? Applying for crappy jobs? Eating crappy food? Drinking more than you should be? Taking up smoking again? Letting the dishes stack up in the sink and dust bunnies do their bunny thing under your bed?

Being kind to yourself and your family is not about coddling yourself. It's about taking care of yourself. And, in the meantime, demonstrating to your children that self-respect and realistic optimism can prevail, no matter what emergencies are swirling around you right now.

What are you doing to punish yourself for being out of work right now? Write to me at martha@reboundyourcareer.com and let me know. I'll write a post based on the results of your emails.

I'll also send you a free copy of my first book, Find Your Calling, Love Your Life as a thanks!

Tags finding a job, martha finney, getting laid off, rebound, taking care of yourself

Comments 11

Recommend

Email to Friend

Permalink

Digg

Technorati

del.icio.us

DALLAS
COMMUNITY BLOG

RSS

Flag as Inappropriate

Community Comments

Carolyn Boughton	Tuesday, April 14, 2009 3:17 PM
Have you been peeking in my windows? It is comforting to know that others know exactly how I feel. Yes, I stay in my jammies, I don't go outside of my house for week at a time, I am drinking too many sodas, and the dust bunnies have multiplied several times. Thank you so much for your thoughtful, caring words. Carolyn

Sam Reta	Tuesday, April 14, 2009 4:03 PM
somtimes my faith is tested. i wonder what i did to fall into this situation. i feel helpless & worthless at home. i make it a point to not turn the tv on until after my youngest one gets home from school because I feel guilty if i watch tv..

Keith Beard

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 4:40 PM

I feel everyday that my faith (and my wifes faith in me) is being tested. Mona is facing her second layoff in two years, I am in my second layoff in the same fiscal year. My first was due to an on the job injury that put me changing careers at 44, my second was due to a company that bit off more than they could chew and had to make cuts. Before all this took place I was bringing in a six figure income, and now because of my lack of experience in my new career, and my inability to do what I did before due to health problems, my family is finding what it is to live without money, food, and health insurance. Unemployment is not covering bills, so we are selling off everything and will soon be out of things to sell. I put applications in everyday attempting to get hired at 15.00 an hour, but with the economy companies are only offering 8 to 10 per hour. This would be fine if I were a student looking for gas money and a new outfit, but not to provide for my family. I am trying to keep the faith, and am working hard to find a way to provide, but I feel I am down and my opponent has a heck of a kick. I am hoping you can shine a light and guide me and my family from these dark times.

Sam Reta

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 5:28 PM

wow keith. I pray that you can pull out of this. I have only been off for a short time(3-1/2 weeks) but it seemed like eternity. i got a job today. i had to take a 12k a yr pay cut. it has me down right now, but i guess i should be thankful. how selfish huh..?...before i was bummed i didn't have a job, now i'm bummed i'm taking such a big pay cut. i was ok, until last wednesday, i was rejected on a job, and i literally sobbed and fell on my knees to ask God for help. i sobbed..a grown man 49 yrs old. fears of losing my home...losing my transportation. this stuff really hurts and i now find myself outside looking in.. people who are still going to restaurants for dinner, seeing people go to the movies...all the things we used to do. i wonder if those people really know how lucky they are...

Sam Reta

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 5:36 PM

i wish there was a answer. we must keep the faith though. without that, as much as we don't think it can't get worse, there's no other way. can you believe...i almost did not take this job because of the huge pay cut! my wife's been so supportive, luckily she has a good job. my next task is to get myself up, because i've been beaten down so much in the last few weeks. from myself and from lack of job prospects. but i have a heart, i do feel your pain, wanna know how..?...i take my situation and multiply it by 1000x

Douglas Gordon	Tuesday, April 14, 2009 6:39 PM
My recommendaition is for all the out of work workers in the State of Texas get together, create their own corporation, call it Talent USA, Inc. Get a govenment contract, get bail out money, and a way we go. :-)

Pam Nelson

Wednesday, April 15, 2009 12:18 AM

I got laid off from my job in January and this is the first time in my adult life that I haven't had a job....I have worked since I was 15 years old and I'm now 50. When I got laid off, I thought "No problem....with all of my experience, I won't have any trouble finding a job!" Well needless to say, 56 applications and only 2 interviews later...I have no prospects for a job. I found myself sitting in my jammers all day just searching the internet for job postings...no shower...no food...no contact with my family or the things I love to do.

A friend of mine told me about a local job fair that was going to have a lot of companies there looking to interview on the spot. I thought WOW...this will be great! I can go to one place and speak to several companies and surely I will get a job there....I was very excited. When I walked into the facility were the job fair was being held, there were SOOOOO many people there. As I stood in long lines to even get up to the table to give my resume and speak to someone, I found myself looking around sizing up the other people there and thinking "I'm better than her...Surely I have more experience than him..." I noticed a young lady in line a couple of tables away. As I "sized" her up....the look on her face was that of such despiration that I started to think...."What if she is a single mom with little kids"...."What if one of those kids is special needs"...."What if she is days away from being evicted from her home"...."What if I get the job that she could have had". I felt so overwhelmed that I began to have a panic attach and had to leave. I cried all the way home....

Finally my husband came home one day and said...ENOUGH! Get in the shower and get dressed...we are going out to eat and talk. He reminded me that our home is paid for and that he still has a good job and we were fine. He told me to stop worrying and get myself together. He said my turn would come and told me that from that day forward, I was only allowed to spend 2 hours a day on the computer and then I was to shut it down and go on with my day. Since that day, I have done what he said and my sense of self worth has changed tremendously. I know I will eventually find a job, but until then....I can't let this get to me anymore or I will lose myself again.

Good luck to all of you and remember...."If we don't change the way we live...the way we live will change us"

Peace and blessings :)

Terrence Hadley	Wednesday, April 15, 2009 10:48 AM
mom always said ''youre not the only one going through this'' she's right as always. I dont feel like man of the house anymore because im not workin. On the oppisite im not eatin,sleeping,or thinking right. Attitude swings with the wife and kids when i dont mean to. Moneys running out and jobs are hard to come by as a welder these days.

David Napolitan

Thursday, April 16, 2009 2:07 PM

I echo the last comment. There are many good people in this situation. I have been out for four months. There is no end in sight. The money has run out. However, I have faith that it will all work out. I wake up every morning at 7 to drive my kids to school, and most of the time, I go back to sleep for an hour or two. I make my calls, answer online ads, and write emails. I talk to others that are in the same boat. Sometimes I go to a job fair, or visit with a recruiter. I had 2nd interviews, and was close on 3 jobs, but lost out to other candidates.

Yes, I sometimes yell at the kids, and I am miserly with what money is left. I have thought of strangling the guy that did this to me. But I get up every day, take a shower, get dressed, and do something job hunting related every day. That poster was right when she got off the computer after 2 hours. If you spend all day reading those inanely written postings, you will soon decide you are worthless.

I read my Bible or listen to the Bible on my MP3 player every day. I count my blessings. We have no health insurance, but nobody in my family has had to go to the doctor. My car is paid off. I love my wife, and she loves me. The weather is unseasonably cool, so we haven't had to turn the AC on yet. We had a 2nd house that sold a month before the layoff. I lost 80 pounds last year, and I have kept it off despite the urge to eat too much.

I know God has a reason for this, if for no other reason than to be more understanding of other people in trouble. He promises us that he will restore to us what the enemy has taken away. When the job comes, I will give God all the glory. Take heart, everyone.

Wanda Cagnolatti	Thursday, April 16, 2009 5:14 PM
Guys, Thanks do much for being out there, and knowing what I feel like every day these days. I too am a Single mother of one son, no child support, no unemployment, and even though I recently start an on-line degree program I still feel lousy! I take anti depressants, so I guess they must be helping me not to kill myself since I'm still down.

Kelsey Johnson

Monday, April 20, 2009 2:59 PM

Been out of work for 4 months, no money, 18 yr old working part time, yada, yada. I have been so brave, ha! ha! I am now so down I am angry and upset today, but yet I drag my tired, low-esteem self out the door. Can't find job I like so guess I'm gonna do the fast food thing, a big change from office adm. Oh, well the world BITES!!! Can't stay in bed, don't want to go down that deadly lane again!! but reading these stories makes me feel not so alone. I hate talking to anyone, all they suggest is praying? I need emergency help, but can't find any I tried praying, it's a long task, and requires so much standards to be "good". Oh, well......life bites!!

Post Your Comments

If you already have an account, enter your email address below to login. If you do not have a My Jobing Account, enter your email address to get started!

EMAIL (ex. username@aol.com)
PASSWORD Forgot your password?
FIRST NAME
LAST NAME
CODE This helps prevent automated spam comments.
CODE This helps prevent automated spam comments.

Submit

About This Author

Martha Finney

President, Engagement Journeys, LLC, Martha Finney - DFW

Contact Me

About Me

I am the coauthor of Unlock the Hidden Job Market: 6 Steps to a Successful Job Search When Times Are Tight. Follow me on Twitter: marthafinney